Pass (Rickel)

In Boyer Rickel’s Pass the reader can easily derive the sense of distance from others Rickel felt as a young boy growing up. Throughout the memoir Rickel creates a sense of being distant from what is taking place in the story. He does this by talking about how he viewed things in the past, not by narrating the story as if he were there right then. He does it omnisciently, as if he is watching himself perform actions in the moment. By doing this it helps the reader feel as he felt, not connected to what is going on but “a spy” (4), always watching but never interfering. By narrating from a distance Rickel instills in the reader how it is he felt as a young man, distant and unsure of whom he was. Without this narration from a distance the reader would not have as great a sense of the distance and uncertainty he felt. If Rickel had simply told the reader he was distant from everyone in his life growing up and then proceeded to narrate the story in the moment not omnisciently, then the reader would have had greater trouble identifying with what is Rickel’s main point. He felt like every single young person growing up feels, unsure of who they are and scared of doing something “uncool” and then being ridiculed for it. It is this fear of being ridiculed that makes Rickel seem tense throughout the story. He sees his father not being sure of himself and is “embarrassed by his awkwardness“(2) among the other adults. From an early age Rickel learns to stay out from under foot of other people as to not be noticed. It seems to start when he is becomes ashamed of his father awkwardness and continues into young adulthood. The reader is able to identify with this tenseness because of the way Rickel describes everything around him, from seeing the other boys naked bodies in the shower and being embarrassed that he too is naked, to staying out of his brothers way so he would remain “ok” (4) in his brother’s and his brother’s friends eyes. Throughout the story we see Rickel watching everything from a distance and never speaking. When he does speak it is only to laugh when everyone else laughs or to make jokes when everyone else makes jokes. By showing the reader how distant from everyone yet how reliant on everyone he was, Rickel is allowing the reader greater access into his psyche as an adolescent. By narrating this story from a distance and telling the reader how he felt rather than showing them directly, Rickel is very effectively allowing the reader to know exactly how he felt. He felt as every young person growing up feels, unsure of what or who they are and wanting to be accepted, as well as constantly under stress at the fear of being labeled an outsider or “unacceptable.” (4) By writing in this style Rickel is creating what could be referred to as a first person omniscient narrator, which in my belief is essentially what a memoir is.